Adventures In Potty-Training

I probaly shouldn't complain. My daughter has decided she is ready to do the toilet thing. She doesn't want anyone's help. She wants to just get in there and do her thing. Good news, right? {insert manical laughing here}
She hasn't yet grasped the concept of how much toilet paper is too much. I just changed the DOUBLE roll of Cottenelle with Aloe Vera today. About an hour ago, I spent a good twenty minutes in the bathroom (which I just cleaned this morning) fishing out toilet paper with a plunger and my hands (rubber gloved, of course). My daughter tried to flush the whole roll down the toilet. Let me rephrase that. She unrolled the whole thing and tried to flush it all down the john.
Don't get me wrong I'm proud of my daughter. You don't know how relieved I am that I haven't had to change a diaper BUT when I'm elbow deep in the toilet it doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside unless that's how you describe the nauseating feeling of stomach acid in your esophagus.
This isn't my first experience with potty training. However, I am hoping it will be my last!
When my son was going through this, we had some serious issues with getting him to outgrow his pull-ups. My son would "go #2" on himself and just keep doing whatever he was doing. #1 on himself and he was crying. I think he found pissing in the toilet amusing because he could stand up. Now who wouldn't enjoy that??? I know I'm envious!
One day, my husband and I were sitting in the living room watching some television. From the sofa we could see into the hallway and see the door to the bathroom. Out the corner of my eye I see my son run into the bathroom and he's butt ass naked. I looked at my husband and said, "He must have had an accident." If I only knew...
I got up to check on him. I went into the bathroom and right away he said, "Mommy, I pooed on myself." I asked were his clothes were. He said they were in the dirty clothes. I opened the cabinet to get them out so they could be rinsed out. However, there were no clothes there. I looked at Gabriel and he had this really guilty face. "Where are your clothes?" I asked again. "In my room", he said.
I walked into his room and nothing...NOTHING!!! could have prepared me for what saw! There on the carpet was a pile of shit. Not shit of substance but freaking diarhea. Next to it was his clothes. He literally took off his clothes and squatted and shit right there on the carpet. His clothes were pefectly free of any defication.
Why would he do such a thing, you may be asking yourself right now. Trust me! I have asked myself that all too many times (to lots of thing, in fact, that my children do). The answer is really quite simple. He was watching Ed, Edd, & Eddy on Cartoon Network. God forbid, he miss a minute of that.
Puzzled as to what action I should take, I sauntered out of his room. I sat back down on the sofa and turned to my husband and said, "Gabe shit on the floor." My husband's face looked as if he may of thought I was joking. In getting no response from him, I continued. "What should I do? Should I rub his nose in it like a dog?" Somethiing must have registered in my baffled husband. He got up to check it out. It was definitely one of those once in a lifetime instances no one could pass up. Hell, if I had heard the neighbors fussing at their kids about shitting on the floor I would have rang their damn doorbell to "check it out". Good times, man!
The end result of all this was the TV got taken out of Gabriel's room. A week or so later we were no longer buying pull-ups. Now if I can just get the kid to lift the seat when he takes a leak. I'm sick of yellow spots on the seat (and on the floor but I'm willing to compromise seeing that my husband has aiming problems too).
Oh, the joys of potty-training!

In Poor Taste

While checking my emails this morning I opened an email from my mom. I was disappointed in what I read. Here is what she sent me:
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban will cut off America's supply of conveinience store managers. And if this action does not yield sufficent results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell customer service reps.
In order for you to understand why this was so disappointing for me (besides the obvious of it being a racist jab at the arabic nation) you would first have to understand my mother.
We all remember the silly quips from elementary school. You know the ones I'm talking about..."there was a white man, a black man, and a chinese man...". How can anyone forget the green-haired chinese man or the foul smelling donkey declaring that the black man possessed an unpleasant aroma. Of course, these memories are from the perspective of a white girl. Meaning, the jokes I heard NEVER ended with the white man getting the short end of the stick.
As a child these immature wisecracks were in fact humorous to me. One day, I came home from school and I wanted to entertain my folks so I decided to enlighten them with a display of my comedic talents.

Upon finishing my rendition of witticism, my mother looked at me and said "That wasn't very nice." She lectured me on how jokes like those were not funny at all. She told me that if I wanted to tell jokes like that I had to change it up a bit. This change turned my jokes into "there was a butcher, a baker, and a garbage man..." leaving the "garbage man" to be the ass in the punchline.

Now that I am a mother myself, I agree with not allowing children to tell such jokes. My son, who has taken my place as the dinner time comedian, tells tales of the humorous garbage man. He still thinks it is funny and it doesn't take jabs at anyone's nationality which cannot be changed or choosen. Instead, he pokes fun at things that people have the power to control.

Now back to the email from my mother...

I was dismayed that my mom would send such a thing and think it was ok. Yes, this country is at war with (most of) the arabic nation. However, it is in poor taste to display such tom-foolery (yes, I said "tom-foolery"...what???) I sent my mom a little message back. It went as follows:

This was racist don't you think? I'm ashamed of you, Mom. When I was a kid you told me I couldn't tell jokes that involved the white man, the black man, and the chinese man because it wasn't "nice" and it was "inappropriate". What's the difference here? Tsk! Tsk!
Love,
Your eldest daughter whom you raised to respect ALL races
Ashley


I did not feel compelled to pass it on by simply forwarding it. I felt that in doing so it would display an agreement with the bawdiness. Instead, I have decided to express my disdain of the humor.

Now, I know my mother did not write the joke herself. (Whoever did, by the way, shame shame on you!!!) However, she did pass it along showing that she condoned the message behind it.

Let it be known that this sort of ignorance does not sit well with me.

Impeached

I have been impeached!
Just kidding...
All this time I've been vice mayor of the community only to find out a few days ago from the mayor herself that I'm not (and never was) her vice mayor. I'm only a volunteer. She has asked someone else to be her vice mayor.
What?!?!?!? You may be asking yourself. I sure as hell have asked myself just that quite a few times.
Here's the dealy-o:
1. The mayor needs someone she can push around...that ain't me!
2. The mayor and the community mananger do not click and lately I've been the go-between. The mayor is not happy about me helping out the community manager.
3. I think that the myor is intimidated by me. She thinks I'm going to take her place. If you ask me, she's got alot to be afraid of come November. (She did tell me she wasn't running but even if she does I'm running...I want the competition!)
4. Anytime something is going down, she's calling me to call the volunteers to get them together. Speaking of which she said that if the community manager wanted volunteers, she needed to get her own. WHAT?!?!?! (There's that word again.)
5. When I've asked her for assistance on passing out flyers to the parts of the village that don't have block coordinators, she has told me she doesn't have time, that she is busy with her church and her FRG. What?!?!?! If you don't have "time" for the community why did you take such a major role?????
6. She's extremely last minute. Her excuse for that is if you tell residents something a week in advance they forget so instead she feels 24-hour notice is sufficient for people to make their plans around.
Maybe all of this sounds petty...fuck it!
The community life NCO over our village told me today he's glad I'll be running for mayor. He said he thinks he offended the mayor because the other day he told her he was going to call me to get some flyers passed out. She said not to do that...she would pick them up. He said that was over a week ago.
She called the community manager last week sometime and told her not to call or email the block coordiantors because they don't like her and don't want to deal with her.
I can't wait until November when this women isn't running the show. Even if someone else wins instead of me AT LEAST it won't be her!

Everyone's Opinion of Me Changes

Nobody laugh...
Did you know that there is actually a website dedicated solely to the (enevitable) divorce of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline?
How did I discover this tidbit of useless information you might ask?
Well, I was reading one of those celebrity magazines that I seem to have a fixation for. It was probably Star or US. Anyway, there was an article about Mr. and Mrs. Spears (big surprise!). Towards the end it said there was actually a online petition you can sign for Britney to divorce K-Fed.
For anyone who knows my nosey ass, you KNOW I went to check it out. The site has a contest going on where you can guess the divorce date. You can win all kinds of trailer trash prizes like a Buick hubcap and even a wife beater complete with sweat stains. There is even a section where merchandise is sold promoting a divorce.
Now bear with me here...
I really try not to get caught up in all the celebrity nonsense but I find it hard not to read about Spears. It's like a circus. She seems to have this unfortunate black cloud hovering over her head. Besides, it's always nice to see rich people living pretty fucked up lives.
As a wise man once said, I believe it was Mo Rocca, "You can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl."
But just so you know, I am not heartless. I do have pity. I pity little Sean and Baby Bun in the Oven. It must suck having K-Fed as a sperm donor.
Shar Jackson is probably laughing her ass off. I would be.
As for Kevin and Britney aren't we all just a little K-Fed up!

Trips To NOLA

Okay. Awhile back I said I had more to say about my trip to Louisiana. Well here goes...
When we go to visit, we have long since limited our trips to no more than a week and a half. Even then that is pushing it. Our families complain that our vivits are never long enough.
At first everything is hunky-dory. Towards the end we remember why we wanted to move away so bad in the first place.
Nick was always very adement that he didn't want to raise our children too close to his grandparents...his grandma in particular. Don't jump to conclusions. Nick adores his "Maw-Maw".
The problem is Maw-Maw takes the spoiling of the grandchildren to a whole other level.
Let me elaborate...
During our visit, Maw-Maw kept trying to spoon feed my three year old (well soon to be anyway) Milan. Milan has been feeding herself for quite some time now.
One day Milan wanted cereal but she refused to eat it unless Maw-Maw fed it to her. Well, you know me. I told her if she didn't feed herself I was going to throw it away. She folded her arms and refused so I tossed it into the trash. That's that!
If that's not bad enough for you, Maw-Maw also tried to spoon feed Gabriel. He's almost six years old!!!
Nick had finally had enough of the nonsense. He told his grandma that it drives him nuts when she tries to feed Milan.He also told her he is not going to allow her to feed Gabriel too.
The truth is if Nick would let her, Maw-Maw would try to spoon feed him too. She's just like that. She always wants to take care of someone.
She's in luck though. The Mother-In-Law has left left Texas and is back in again in Louisiana. The cycle of codependency can once again continue. Maw-Maw can coddle Wendy and Wendy can take advantage of Maw-Maw.
Everyone's happy. Especially me because I won't have to deal with it.

Got mother-In-Law? If not, please take mine!

We just got back from NOLA yesterday evening. While we were gone we let the mother-in-law stay at our house so she could check our mail and feed Duece. When we originally told her we were leaving she got all worked up because the majority of her mail comes to our house. She was worried that she wouldn't get some check she was waiting on. Nick suggested she just stay at our house so she could get the mail everyday AND in the meantime feed the dog.
Before we left, we took her to Wal-Mart so she could get herself some groceries for the week and half we would be gone. I distinctly remember unpacking and putting away her groceries for her thinking, "I guess she only plans on eating pork chops and sandwiches while we are gone." all because her only meats were a pack of pork chops and a pack of liver cheese lunch meat.
When we got back to the house yesterday, I noticed my refridgerator was practically bare. The drawer that we keep sausage and cheese and such in only had a little bit of deli meat left inside of it.
After she went home, I went to fix myself a glass of water. When I opened the freezer to get some ice, I noticed there was only a pack of ground meat in there. Right away, I did not freak out. I thought, well, maybe Nick told her to help herself to whatever we have.
Upon Nick's return, I asked him if he told his mom she could eat all of our food. He said he did tell her that she could use what she needed but he said he assumed he took her shopping for the sole purpose of getting meat and such. He said he only meant she could use things like salt and pepper or vegetable oil.
Later, I noticed that woman ate half of the unsweetened Baker's baking chocolate. WTF!!! Who the hell eats baking chocolate????
This morning we went to Wal-Mart to get some meat for the rest of the week. Guess who we run into? Yep! The mother-in-law. Nick walks up to her and asks what the hell happened that she ate all of the freaking food. Do you know what this bitch has the audacity to say? No, really! You got to hear this shit. She says, "Well, Nicky, it's your fault for letting me stay there." The when Nick goes to respond to her reply she says, "You don't understand." Nick asks her what doesn't he understand. She says she doesn't want to talk about and walks off.
WHAT!?!?!?
I loathe people that don't take responsibilty for their shit! Here we are at Wal-Mart spending my kids birthday money to replace meat that her fat ass ate and she has the mother fucking balls to say it's our fault. Oh NO!
I told Nick we should take all her groceries. She would survive a week or so with no food. Our fault...bitch, please! You know what else? She had the nerve to ask if we would drive her home from Wal-Mart so she wouldn't have to catch a cab.
NEVER AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME? NE-VER A-GAIN!
On a lighter note...
She should be leaving real soon to go back to NOLA becuase she can't handle being on her on. She needs to crawl back to her Mama and let Mama coddle her ass. And trust me, her mom is waiting with open arms to treat her like she's a fifteen year old girl. It must be nice living in Never Neverland. Sad truth, the majority of the time my six year is more independent then the mother-in-law.
It's so wierd how things change. Back in the day, I used to feel sorry for her now she disgusts me. She is a waste of a person. She should be euthanized.
Run back to Mommy!
Anyway, I have other things to write about. I'll get to those later. I just had to vent and get this shit out. Now I feel better and I can move on.

What Am I Doing Here???

Have you ever sat amongst people and looked around at them and wondered, "What the fuck am I doing here?" And no, I'm not talking about church either. I'm talking about the PTA.
Today was the first PTA board meeting for the 2006-2007 school year prior to summer break. Now bear with me.
I sat at the conference table (which was merely children desks pushed together) and glanced around at the ladies present. For the most part, they were all these power house soccer moms. The majority of them looked like they spent at least an hour getting ready this morning, dressed nicely, makeup done, nails neatly manicured.
Then...
There's me. Yes, me! NO makeup (but that's nothing new), a T-shirt, yoga pants that are on their last leg, and my hair raked back into a ponytail. To be honest, that's my normal attire. I have seven piercings and only three of them are in plain view along with two hidden tattoos. I probably still had creases on my face from only rolling our of bed about fifteen minutes prior to the start of meeting.
Hell! I don't work and I stay home cleaning my house all day. You tell me. What do I have to get dolled up for??? And don't any of you dare say "your husband"! It's not like we can really DO anything while the kids are awake anyway. so why waste the effort?
Back to the PTA...
As of now, there are four villages on post that attend the school. The first two (which I live in) consist of E5's and below, the next one is for all of the NCOs (non commisioned officers for those of you that don't know), and the last one is for officers only. Out of the ladies that are on the board (which I think there are twenty), there are only three or four ladies including myself that are from one of the E5 and below villages.
I am really hoping I can swing this. I have a tendency to get really annoyed with most people and their pettiness. I also have to mind my dumpster mouth because as most of you already know I cuss like a mother fucking drill sergeant. If I can pull this off, I should be nominated for daytime emmy. It's going to take alot of faking the funk to pull this one off.

Messy Rooms Cause Child Abuse

Seriously! Messy rooms really do cause child abuse. It's a fact.
Everytime I look into my children's room I want to beat them. I really do.
Somebody help me! No, actaually, somebody help my children.
The End

Psychic Adventures

I've been to a psychic quite a few times before. I lived in New Orleans. Who there hasn't at least gone to a street reader in Jackson Square before???
Anyway...
The last time I got a reading was over a year ago. The lady was very accurate in most aspects of the reading. She knew my husband had cheated on me a few years prior. She knew that we had just moved here in an attempt to change our lives. She also told me I had a great gift hidden inside of me that had been oppressed. She told me once I found it, I would change the lives of many people for the better.
She also told me that in my last past life I was an amish girl, very simple and plain. She said prior to that I was accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake. Interesting.
Then the lady told me someone put bad mojo on me. She told me that I had pains in my stomach that was caused by this bad mojo. She told my that it was a woman that hexed me. She told that she was an asian woman. I told her I had no pains in my stomach.
She proceeded to try to sell me an aura cleansing for $250. The idea of someone else cleansing my aura, to me anyway, is absurd! I believe only you can cleanse yourself. No salve, ointment, bath salt, powder someone else makes for you can cleanse you. You have to do it yourself. No prayer or chant someone says for you is going to cleanse you.
I told her that I would prefer to meditate on it and solve my own issue. To me, that is the only way.
Now, if this lady would have told me this years ago when Nick was doped up and cheating and I was scrounging for diaper money and my car was running on fumes then, yeah, I'd have believed that I WAS cursed. But for her to tell me that when things were actually moving forward and our lives were making progress just seemed ridiculous in my eyes.
Around here, it is hardly New Orleans. You can't just look up psychics in the yellow pages or walk to some spot in the city and find them lined up waiting to read your palm. So it's slim pickings and there isn't much of a selection for who you can go to.
I told a friend of mine about her. She went to see her. She comes back to tell me that the woman told her she had bad juju on her and she needed an aura cleansing too. All of the pains in her back and legs and her headaches were caused by this bad juju.
I am beginning to think that this woman just wants to "cleanse" everyone's wallet. I told my friend that she needed to take care of that on her own and not pay her to do it for her.
Something just seems fishy to me. I can't believe that we are bothed "hexed". What is the likeliness of that even happening to two people that know eachother, that live right across the street from eachother?
My friend said the same thing as me about the woman being really accurate in everything else. Her readings are pretty on point. I just think that she is getting greedy. That greed will overcome her. It always does.
When I come home in a few days, I am definitely going to see a reader. It's time. I need to see where I'm at.

Warning! This blog contains crude language. You have been warned.

Ok. The following is crude but hey, this is my blog and I can say what I want to. You have been warned so don't get upset if I offend you.
Anyway, let me start...
This morning my husband took one of his lovely trips to the bathroom. Book in hand, I could tell immediately that it was to be no in and out venture. As the time past by, I waited patiently for my turn. It finally came. He exited and I waited a few more minutes to let the place air out.
I walked in and walked right back out. The wall heater was on and for minute I thought the scent of defication was actually seething my face. The aroma really bothered me. Yes, it did smell horrible but that's not what I'm talking about.
I love smell good stuff. My house is full of candles, incense, scented oils and air freshners. The bathroom has all of the above. And just in case, there are even matches in the cabinet. I'm well prepared for odor. What can I say?
I proceeded to spray the bathroom with the lovely scent of pina colada. I even moved out into the hallway to spray away the nasty odor that escaped. Then I figured I may as well spray the source of the smell. I walked into the bedroom and sprayed Nick in the butt just in case anything tried to fart its way out.
I swear! It's one thing to stink up the bathroom but it's an entirely different ballpark to leave it smelling like a dumpster. Why are most men so gross? I mean is that a territorial thing. "If I make a smell so bad that other people's eyes water then it is mine!" What a strange specimen men are!
One more thing and then I'll stop with this nastiness...
Why is it that men have a problem flushing the toilet? I hate going to use any bathroom and see something someone left in the toilet. The "men" in my house (my son and my husband) haven't seemed to figure out what the silver doohickey on the back of the toilet is for.
Men are disgusting! Sorry guys...

To Whom This May Concern:

Wow! I have been in such a shitty mood. Ever since I got up yesterday morning and read the emails from a friend of mine pretaining to his relationship, I've been really cranky. The emails just keep coming too. Not only email addressed to me but also the ones he is sending to his mate and to his ex wife and his friends. I don't understand why this has to go on and on.
Orginally, he approached me about something I said to his girlfriend. I told her I wouldn't put up with the way he was acting and I'd leave his ass. He dropped me a line about not being a true friend. I feel that the only reason he sent me the email in the first place was because I wasn't "on his side".
I am friends with them both and have always tried to play Switzerland when it came to their disagreements. Someone tell me. How long am I supposed to listen to all this before I tell them what I really think? I am usually really good about letting people vent and giving them encouragement to move forward. I pride myself on actually contemplating both sides.
As my close friends know, I have a way of looking at things from everyone's perspective. I've listened to some stories! I'm telling you! Stories that made me think "Wow! That's messed up."
As I said though, how long do I have to listen to this before my brutal honesty comes out? I'm a nice person and usually even when I'm "mean", I'm nice. It's just not in my nature to be a total bitch.
The main purpose of this blog, of course, as I said I was accused of not being a true friend. Here's my view on that. A true friend will always tell you the truth even when it hurts your feelings. A true friend will let you know when you are being an arrogant asshole. A true friend will not fear telling you that they do not agree with you. Maybe my thinking is warped but that is really what I think a true friend should be.
I am not so proud as to say I have no flaws because we all know I am full of them. Someone accusing me of not being a true friend especially when I KNOW I am just struck a nerve and set me off on this soul searching conquest inside of my head. I've been analyzing myself for two days now. The more I consider the different circumstances the more I'm like, "Fuck that! I am a great friend. I'd want to be my friend."
So, in conclusion, if this friend reads this (and you know who you are) I have a few things to say to you. Yes, my feelings are slightly hurt for you doubting me. You brought up the golden rule to me. I feel as if I was looking out for the best interest of you both for, as you said, "life, liberty, and happiness." There is one other thing. If you don't want me in the middle of it, you both need to stop pulling me in. You are both my friends. I am not choosing sides. Take care.

Realizations

Yesterday, I saw my mother-in-laws residence for the first time. Ghettoooooo! It made Nick and I's first place on Lafayette Street look like the Hamptons.
My son later on was begging to sleep over there. My husband said no right away. My son must have lost his mind for a moment there. Nick told me there was dried blood on the balcony in front of the neighbors apartment door.
I don't think I even want my kids there during the day. It looked so scummy. It made me feel uncomfortable.
Funny thing is I used to have no fear when it came to places like that. I'm sure it has lot to do with not being in that "scene" anymore. I'd roll up in areas such as that and stroll up to anybody looking for quarter bag.
Now things have changed. I guess I have changed. My life is actually moving on up (to the East Side. I finally got a piece of the pie...sorry :p). Things are good. I'm good. Life is good. It's all good.

Bulletin Stupidity

Is anyone else getting tired of those bulletins from "Tom" saying things like "Repost this bulletin and get 20 profile pictures", "Repost this and find out who's looking at your profile.", etc etc etc. The truth is it's all a test to see how gullible people are. Some computer geek sits around all day thinking of ways to get back at the world for teasing him about his pocket protector.
What about those emails that say after you send this to ten people something will appear on your screen? It usually says something like "It was so funny." Has anyone ever SEEN WTF they are talking about? I've sent out a few of those and noting has EVER popped up on my screen.
I'm not going to lie. I have fallen for the trick more than once. I'm not claiming to be better than anybody. I'm just tired of the stupidness.
I'm letting everyone know that if you send them I delete them. If I can spot them in my inbox, I delete them before I even read them. If you want to send me junk, at least send me something I can laugh at.
Here's another stupid bulletin. The ones that say something like "OMG I'm pregnant!". when opened it says something about "not opening it if the word Jesus was in the title." You know what's wonderful about this one? The "genius" that thought up this doozy is absolutely right. Anytime, someone sends me something that sounds even remotely like a prayer, it gets deleted. I don't have time for that shit. Furthermore, I don't like being tricked into opening a bulletin or an email.

Make Up Your Damn Mind

I swear I am so ready to yank my hair out of my head it isn't even funny! Now the evil wicked mother-in-law is NOT leaving. She has changed her mind.
Fickle people drive me nuts. I know there are some descions that are tough and albeit this is one of them. To move or not move, that is the question!
As horrible as this sounds, I think my aggravation comes from the fact that I was at peace with her going away and now she's NOT!
Oh, NO! Now she thinks we are U-Haul.
We are planning to have my son and daughter's birthday party at the end of May when we come to Louisiana to visit. So on the way back we are already going to have more stuff then we arrived with because we will have gifts to lug back. Well, monster-in-law thinks that she's going to pay for a hitch and a trailer so that we can bring to her all of the shit she left behind in Louisiana.
I can tell you this much. I don't see that happening unless Nick's mom and his grandma lay the guilt on thick. Our car is new (to us anyway) and Nick is pretty particular about it. Hell, when we go grocery shopping he doesn't like the baggers to load our groceries into the trunk because he doesn't want the to scratch it. He constantly tells the kids "don't touch the glass" over and over again. Right! Like a two year old can keep their hands off of anything.
All I can say is Jessica Lynn Edwards (Digna??) you better be ready for me. That goes for Dawn Marie too!

More To Add To That Fabulous Day

Update on the mother-in-law situation:

So!! My mother-in-law moved into her place yesterday. What a fiasco! Nick went to help her move from the hotel room into her furnished apartment and then he was going to drop her off at Wal-Mart and she would catch a cab back. Basically, he was her taxi.
They get to the apartment complex and walk up the stairs to her new apartment with all of her luggage. The first thing Nick notices is dried blood on the concrete floor of the balcony in front of the neighbors front door. Lovely!
Nick's mom gets out the key and puts it in the lock. It won't work. Of course, Nick says to let him try. He tries. It doesn't work. Nick says lets call the rental company and find out what's going on. He calls and leaves a message for the "mythical Greg creature" (as Nick refers to him). He is the fellow that showed her the apartment and handed her the key. Nick ends up leaving a message.
They stand there for about a fifteen minutes. Nick's impression of the place: 1. Not a good neighborhood for a recovering substance abuser. 2. Our kids will never step foot there. 3. The dried blood can't be a good sign.
Eventually, my husband calls the office. A girl answers saying that she is the answering service and he'll have to leave a message with her. By this time my cynical/sarcastic husband is in no mood to hear "leave a message and someone will get back to you." He tells her a few choice words.
After about 45 minutes the "Greg" character calls Nick to find out what the problem is. Nick tells him the key won't work. Greg (what a guy!) says very matter of factly, "Well, it worked yesterday." Hee hee. Nick dryly tells him in his very unique way, "You know what, Greg? If you want to come down here and cast a magic spell on the key to make it work, by all means, come on down!" Of course, Greg says he'll have to call Nick back.
In the mean time, they are standing up on the balcony looking like a couple of jack asses. Nick is smoking like a chimney and his mother is sulking and apoligizing. Nick notices the people walking around the area. He wasn't born yesterday. He knows a drug area when he sees one. Killeen may not be a big city but it has its rough neighborhoods and this was definitely one of them.
When Greg calls back, he tells Nick to head over to the office and the girl there will give him a new key. He said for whatever reason the owner changed the locks. Interesting! So between 4 in the afternoon on Friday and 10 in the morning on Saturday, the locks were changed. Uh huh!
They go back down the stairs with all the luggage and get into the car. They head about five blocks away to the Sun Reality office. Nick walks right up to the counter. There is a girl sitting there with about 500 keys spread in front of her. She picks a keyring that has about 20 keys on it and she says that it is the keys for the complex. She takes off one key and hands it over to Nick. She tells him, "I THINK this is the one." Nick (my sacastic honey bunch) tells her, "How about you just give me all of them and I'll bring back the rest after I find the one that works." She goes into this speech about how she is not supposed to do that. Nick tells her that he is NOT going to make twenty trips just because she is uncertain as to which key is the right key. She finally agrees.
So! They drive back to the apartment and go through about six keys before they find the right one. By the way, the key she took off the key ring wasn't the right key.
The front door opens and Nick flops the luggage inside right next to the door and says, "Bye!" "Wait," his mom says, "You said you were going to take me to Wal-Mart."
Mind you, Nick got there at about ten. It was now almost 2. AND he still had to drop off the keys back to the office.
When he got back home, he drank himself into a stupor. Yesterday just sucked for all of us.
Now remember. She just moved in yesterday.
She calls me today to tell me that when she gets her SSI check she's going back home. I told Nick and he looked at me dumb founded and said, "Are you serious?" Like I would joke about something like that. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if it happens.

My Blood Is Boiling!!

I am letting you know right now. This is me bitching. That is all.
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Kids can be so damn cute BUT they can also be the freaking devil in disguise!!!
Every Saturday morning, I make my kids pick up their room. Every Saturday, what should take less than thirty minutes ends up taken hours!!
My kids are five and two. I don't expect them to make the room immaculate but I do expect them to pick up the toys that are on the floor and put them where they belong. Then, I go in there and dust and make the beds and sweep and mop etc etc. As for the toys, my husband and I both feel like it is not our responsibility to clean up their shit.
My kids will not clean unless someone stands over them and dictates where to put each and every toy which is completely fustrating!
I try to give them some space (and give myself time to count to ten) by leaving the room. Of course when I go back in, they are making no progress which make me want to snatch them up and beat their asses.
I hate to clean! I hate it. BUT I also do not like my house looking like a shit hole. I am pretty easy on my kids during the week. When I tell them it is time for bed, they have to pick up their messes. As long as I don't see the toys all over the floor, I am fine with what they do.
However, on Saturday (the day of Mommy evil) I look under beds, under dressers, in the closets and whatever is not where it belongs gets tossed out into the middle of the floor.
Throughout the room, I have containers for videos, cars, puzzles, dress up, dollhouse stuff, kitchen stuff, blocks, etc etc etc. I just cannot grasp what the fuck is so complicated about putting shit where it goes the first time. Saturday mornings would be so much less stressful for my kids and for me and my husband if they just did it right the first time!!
I know. I know. This is part my fault for not going behind them throughout the week. Sometimes I wish I could go back to work just so I wouldn't have to worry so much about all of this but the reality is I'd worry about it when I came home resulting in me just having even more stress.
There are monents when I go into my children's room that I truly feel like I am turning into my mother. I feel my blood pressure go up as look about at the mess amongst the floor. I tried the whole closing the door deal but the thing is NOW is the time to teach your kids to pick up after themselves. Besides, my kids still demand that I tuck them in at night so I have to go into the room.
Another thing that bothers me is the tattling! Most of the time that should be utilized for cleaning is spent whining about the other not cleaning or the other one "being bossy". I tell you. It's enough to make me want to run straight into traffic on the highway with my eyes closed.
Another section of there time is spent being yelled out by me or by Nick. Everything seems to be in vain.
My kids started cleaning at about ten o'clock this morning and it is now almost three and they still have more to do even though it is only a small amount. However, that "small amount" has been there for over an hour. They are making no progress.
So in order for me to calm myself down before I lash out and beat them, I am in my room at the computer typing this mess of words in total irritation. I am trying to count to ten and take deep breathes and all the other bullshit that people claim is supposed to ease the anger.
I think I'll just do what works for me. No, I'm not running to get the belt (even though sometimes I REALLY wish that I could). I am going to use my sailor trash talking mouth. Under my breath I am saying the following words as I type them. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! It's amazing how a four letter word can make me feel better. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
Okay. I feel a bit better and now I'm going back to get my kids in check.
You know? Sometimes myspace irritates the hell out of me with all the teeny boppers that seem to bebop around with all their bullshit and teenage angst but other times when I use it as an outlet to vent, I think it may not be so silly after all.
Peace!

Trust Your Instinct

Something tells me this isn't going to turn out good. I've got that disgusting feeling in my stomach. If you haven't guessed it, this is an update on the mother-in-law fiasco that has been taking place WAY too close to home for my liking.
She called me today to tell me that she decided HUD was taking too long. So, she went out and found an apartment on her own. "Rent is not that expensive," she says, "only $350 a month." She moves in tomorrow.
I'm happy she has found a place. The problem is she has no job. I don't think she has any plans to get one either. She gets an SSI check. How much can that possibly be? Other than that, I don't think she has any other income.
I've been thinking in my head approximately how much this is going to cost her month. It would seem to me that in order for a person to survive and live modestly, they would need an income of at least $1000 a month. Luckily, this place is furnished.
She said to me today that she doesn't want to be a burden. I really believe it is not her intentions to be. She has called practically everyday to update me (well, us actually but I'm the one who always ends up talking to her) on what she did that day. I am trying to take into consideration that the women is lonely and needs someone to talk to her. I don't want to be mean to her. I know I will end up having to tell her lots of things she'll get upset about.
Man, I hope no one in my family ever needs me to take care of them. I'm not the kind of person that is good at this sort of stuff. I'm not very fond of taking care of children much less grown ups that act like them. Damn!

My Other Life

The other day my husband bought a pc game called Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion. Unfortunately, it wouldn't work properly in our laptop and we decided not to even try on the desktop. My husband said (jokingly) that it might explode if we tried it. I returned it and took a step down. We bought Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind.
OMG! I am no gamer but that game is absolutely fascinating!
Last night, I watched Nick play around on it trying out this and that. He had never played it before so he wasn't exactly sure how alot of things worked. I was all but in his lap trying to watch.
Today while he was at work I decided to pop in the CD-Rom and try for myself. It was about eleven o'clock when I started. I paused a few times to do motherly things like change Milan and feed her. She even sat next to me for awhile watching asking all kinds of questions.
Nick came home from lunch and was very surprised to see me glued to the computer playing a game he actually liked. His last game of choice was Rome: Total War. I just couldn't get into that one.
This one on the other hadn is wonderful. I played for hours! I played for a ridiculous amount of time. When Nick came home for the day at about four, I was still on. He finally had to ask me if he could play his game.
I honestly never thought I could get into games like this but obviously I was wrong. I seem to be wrong alot lately. Oh well. Live and learn.
I guess it's one of those things. Don't knock it 'til you try it. And I am so glad I tried it. Too bad when Nick leaves in June he's taking it to Iraq with him. So sad. I guess I'll actually have to face reality then. Makes me think of a movie. You know where I'm going...Reality Bites!

Save The Drama For Your Mama!

A cousin of mine whom I haven't seen or heard from in quite a few years approached me on myspace. It was nice talking to her at first. Notice I said at first. Well, I committed some sort of mortal sin. Oh no, there is my catholic mentality rearing its ugly head. I told another cousin about the other being on myspace. I told one cousin were to find the other because one recently had a baby and the other said she wanted to see the baby. Unfortunately, I feel like I've been wedged in between two rapid wolverines. Well at least one anyway and that one has a chip on her shoulder the size of a bible.So for you my friends for your reading pleasure I am posting the trash messages of the final conversation between me and my cousin who has choosen never to speak to me again. OH, NO!! Enjoy!

From: doodlebug Date: Apr 14, 2006 9:05 AM Ashley, I know you gave Dawn my information on here and I don't appratiate you doing that without my permission. I choose not to have certain people in my life for a reason. You should have asked me if it would have been okay. If for any reason I would have wanted to contact anyone and I knew that you had contact with that person then I would have asked you if you knew their where abouts but I did not ask so their for my information should have been private.
From: Asha Date: Apr 14, 2006 12:04 PM I did. She said she wanted to look at you pics. I didn't think that would be a problem. Sorry about that.
From: doodlebug Date: Apr 14, 2006 10:07 AM you didn't ask so it is a problem. If I want someone to have my contact information then I would have given it to them.
From: Asha Date: Apr 14, 2006 12:28 PM Again, I APOLOGIZE! She could have searched your name if she really wanted to look you up. I am admitting to you that this is my fault. I can't take it back.
From: doodlebug Date: Apr 14, 2006 2:08 PM There is no way she could have searched my name, she wouldnt have known my NEW name unless it was given by someone who knew what it was
From: Asha Date: Apr 15, 2006 11:02 AM Ok. So, now you can't even be my friend anymore. That's mighty grown up and christian of you! Well, have a nice life. Talk to you in another five or so years when you can get over yourself. Take care. Ashley
From: doodlebug Date: Apr 15, 2006 11:26 AM Being a "CHRISTIAN" has nothing to do with my decision to delete someone off a profile, So, you need to get that straight it was a decision that I made to get you and everyone else out of my life because I realized that I don't miss the drama, I don't miss people being fake, or just being nosey too see how Me and My family are doing. I didn't appreciate you giving my information out to a person I CHOOSE NOT to have in my life, just like certain people don't claim their OWN brother or son. So, I am ending everything NOW with all of you. Me and my family have been VERY happy without you people present in our life. I am sorry for even contacting you on here, I just thought that since you were mailing the kids pictures that I would tell you why we haven't responded. I am calling it quits with everyone that is part of the DRAMA cliq or choosing to associate themselves with those who aren't over what some people like the call the past. Maybe ya'll are the ones that need to get over ya'll self. Hopefully one day You and the rest of the ones can actually know what it is like to be a CHRISTIAN rather then living in that catholic mentality, like they always have. Jesus paid a price for everyone to be born again so we may have eternal life, but ONLY if we choose him, and LIVE for him, by showing HIS love to others just like Christ did to us.
From: Asha Date: Apr 15, 2006 8:32 PM I see I struck a nerve with the word "christian". All I meant was simply "what would Jesus do?" I told you I was sorry and your words have not spoken forgiveness nor have your actions. Your last letter was hurtful and overly defensive. Furthermore, I don't know what anything about the "past" has to do with me. You talked about it like I had something to do with it. I am my mother's child and our grandfather's granddaughter and nothing more. I am not them. I have never denied your folks or you. Whatever anemosity you have towards my mother and father or our grandfather has nothing to do with me nor is it my fault. And I don't APPRECIATE you trying to compare me to them or blame me for issues that you and your parents have with them. I have NEVER EVER in any conversation I have had with you or your parents brought up any of that. As for your comments about "catholic mentality", I'm not christian nor am I catholic so I can say without any remorse, fuck you. You haven't changed at all. If anything, you have grown into more of a phoney person. You talk about me being one of the fakes one. I don't pretend to be something I'm not. So if you never want to speak to me again over this ridiculous shit, then whatever!!! I'm done with you. If you have anything else to say to me I'd appreciate it if you meet with me in May when I'm in Louisiana. At that time we can sit down face to face instead of you trying to act like you are some big person with typed words over the internet. I would prefer to be able to talk like two rational adults. Take care of yourself and your beautiful baby girl.
From: doodlebugDate: Apr. 16, 2006 5:45 AMWhat would Jesus do? well I think, Jesus would elimanate those who bring friction in his life and pray for them so that they may come to know him. I have forgiven you for doing such a thing, and now that I know you keep in touch with her I frankly don't need someone else telling her or anyone else my business who I don't ever want in my life. Your right you may not know everything that went on, or you may just know the lies or the extended version of things without hearing both sides. About calling Whitey my grandpa- He is NOT my grandpa, a grandpa doesn't tell his grandchildren that he would like to kill them, their parents and his great grandchildren! So, as far as that is concerned I have ONE grandpa and he lives in MS. I have never once been phoney, I always say what I need to say which has always been the truth whether it hurts or not. You don't even know me, its been years that has gone by and even when we were younger you didn't know me that well then, so for you too say that, your wrong and have no idea. I have never tried to be something I wasn't. Furthermore I am ending it now, I don't need people to bring me down or to help the devil reverse what God is doing in my life. I don't plan to meet you in May so we can sit down and rehash what you say you weren't apart of. Your right its none of your business and I feel that I don't need to keep in touch with someone who is talking with other people I choose not to have in my life, They don't need to know my business. Like I said before I am sorry I even contacted you on here. I will be putting everyone in my prayers and hope one day you realize the truth, that Christ did die for all of our sins and that he is coming soon for HIS people and the ones left behind will be going to hell for eternal life. Sorry, if you have were offended or hurt by any means, but by you giving someone my information it has led to this since you didn't have my permission. Hope you and your family have a wonderful Easter and remember the resurection.

I had to share how riduculous this was with everyone. Now that I have wasted about 10 to 15 minutes of your life, you may carry on. Everyone needs a dose of doodlebug , right? I am exiting laughing manically...Mwahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Here She Comes To Ruin My Day...

I am trying to be in good spirits about this, but let me tell you, it's not easy. My mother-in-law moved here. She has good intentions I think. If you read the previous blog about this, you know that she is trying to get HUD assistance here in Killeen. However, she did not wait for HUD to say "Hey! We got a place for you." No, she hopped on a plane and has taken up residence at the Quality Inn.What I'm afraid of is HUD won't come through as quick as she's hoping and she'll run out of money and have no place to go. Then, we'll feel obligated to take her in. Sorry! Been there! Done that! Got a T-shirt! I hate feeling like I have to do something for someone. Scenario: Ever drove down the street and saw some homeless guy holding up a sign that said "Will work 4 food"? You know that feeling you get? The one in the pit of your stomach that makes you feel like you should help this guy out. Then, you sit there and debate yourself on whether or not this fellow will use it on food or on booze. You debate until the light turns green and you end up driving off without doing anything. Then, the guilt comes and you feel like a selfish person for not helping out. I mean after all you have a house and a car and an income, the least you could have done was empty your ashtray money into that guys hand.I'm afraid of the guilt. I don't want to have to tell my mother-in-law she needs to go to a shelter. Nor do I want my husband to have to tell her that.I don't want us to be taken advantage of. I don't want us to be her taxi cab service. I don't want us to be her Holiday Inn. Mainly, I don't want us to be her free ride. What sucks is there is so much emotion I can't even began to put into words. There is just so much drama this Easter weekend. I'm going to write a separate blog on the rest of it.Ta-Ta!

People And Their Shit

Oh happy day! Oh happy day!Yes, everyone, my husband has returned from TDY in AZ. Yes, I have been satisfied for any of you that are wondering. Now for the shitty part of my day so far...Ever feel like you attract a certain sort of person? Seriously! Woman with problems in their marriages flock to me. Today, I went to the shopette. The girl behind the counter (who I DO have small talk with everytime I go in there which is quite of few times a week) starts telling me how her husband is cheating on her. She starts crying. I'm standing on the other side the counter with Nick's cigarettes in one hand and a Red Bull in the other. What am I supposed to say? I don't know her like that. So, I ask her what is she going to do about it. I'm trying not to be rude and be like "Well, sucks to be you! See you later." I dumbly stand there and listen to this story (which took up about 20 minutes all the while she is helping customers). She proceeds to tell me what time she gets off. 6:00 PM She asks me if I want to hang out and blah blah blah. I told her my husband just got back so I couldn't. Okay not entirely true but close enough. I know this charade all to well. Right now I'm listening to her crap. We'll chit chat but as soon as she makes up with Prince Charming, she'll blow me off. Then she'll come running to me only when they have problems. I don't want that sort of friend.I have three neighbors that only come around to bitch about their husbands. I don't find it amusing. And, no, I'm not talking about Joann. For once, I'd like some female to tell me that her husband is absolutely wonderful and really mean it! I know that people fight. Hell, when you got live in the same house with someone, it's inevitable that you will have disagreements at times. If you or your spouse can't stay faithful to each other, that's not a marriage. It's a joke! If you two fight everyday about anything and everything (or Mickey Mouse shit as a friend of mine would say **wink wink, Christina**), then you more than likely need to call it quits. Don't get me wrong. I think that people should explore all possible options to save a marriage before they throw in the towel. But you also have to be realistic! I mean if you husband can't leave his pecker in his boxers than maybe he's not ready to be married. Maybe he has some serious problems, like insecurity issues, that he needs to try to work out on his own before he can be a REAL husband. Vice versa for a wife (of course, minus the pecker). Truth is, some people just like to argue. They like confrontation. Some people are just out right nuts!With the exception of a few people, I think I might start charging to listen to people's problems. Go see a freaking shrink.This is so damn frustrating!!!

Twisted Fairytales

I'm hooked on a writer. I bought the book "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire. After reading about a quarter of the book, I knew I wanted to read more of his work.This guy takes fairytales from childhood and twists them into something awesome. "Wicked" is based loosely on the Wizard of Oz only it's from the Wicked Witch of the West's side of the story. I'm telling you I am so enthralled I can't put the book down.eBay! Glorious eBay! I'm waiting for three more books by the author. There is "Son of a Witch" which is the sequel to "Wicked", Mirror, Mirror which is based on Snow White, and also Confessions of an Ugly Step Sister based on Cinderella. I can't wait to dive into these too.So take everything about Dorothy, Cinderella, and Snow White that you can dig up from the back of your head and throw it all out the window. You know you haven't heard the whole story until you've heard both sides.Oh, and by the way, any of you that have seen the Broadway play "Wicked" have to tell me all about it. Hopefully, one day I'll see it too!

Invasion of the Mother-in-law

For those of you that have know me for some length of time know that when my husband and I were first married, his mother stayed with us. It was without exageration during the worst time of my life thus far. Without going into detail, it almost inevitably caused a divorce.Now she has decided that she doesn't want to live in Louisiana anymore for numerous reasons I won't get into. For awhile, she was trying to get a a FEMA trailer with no luck. She is now trying to get HUD assistance for an apartment.Sounds great. Super! Too bad she always jumps the gun. Seriously! She has plane tickets for Saturday afternoon AND a hotel room booked for two weeks in hopes that HUD will have a place for her HERE in Killeen. Anyone out there that has ever dealt without government assistance knows that nothing with the government takes two weeks. You surely don't move until they say "Hey! We have aplace ready for you." At least, that makes sense to me.When she called me, I called Nick right away. I asked him if he had talked to her. He said she told him she was trying to get a place in Austin which is about an hour from us. When I told him of her new plans, the first words out of his mouth were "Well, she's not moving with us when her plans blow up in her face." It was exact;y the response I wanted to hear. I know that sounds cold. Don't get me wrong. I like my mother in law. She's a really sweet person especially now that she's been clean for over a year and she's on meds for her bi-polar. I just don't want to live with her anymore than I'd want to live with my own mother. Besides we don't have the room. (Thank goodness for small favors!)I'm stressing! My husband is going to deploy in June and I'm going to be stuck with his mother. What's worse is I believe in Karma. I keep asking myself what on Earth did I do to create these reprocutions. I need a couple Valiums and a glass of wine. Whew

Some Much Needed Relaxation

Today is a beautiful day!! The grass has finally become green again. The autumn and winter air, not to mentioned the awful drought, caused the grass to become so dry. The lack of chlorophyl was quite depressing. The feeling of cool, green grass between your toes is such a nice touch to any spring day. This is all such a change from the straw effect that had taken over the yards around here.
After my son came home from school, he, my daughter, and I got a glass jar out of the cabinets and caught caterpillars. Gabriel is determined this year to watch a caterpillar develop into a butterfly. I told him that was fine but it stays outside at all times. He wanted to catch some spiders but I had to draw a line somewhere. Spiders scare me. At least, the caterpillars are slow and they don't fly or jump irradictly.
Now I'm relaxing in the sun in our backyard. Oh, the joys of a laptop and a wirless internet connection. Got to love those Bill Gates types!! There is a nice breeze. My hair keeps blowing in my face and the smell of my shampoo fills my nostrils. My daughter, Milan, is singing the Dora the Explorer theme song while my son is tossing up a ball and swinging at it with his wiffle bat. Our dog, Duece, is relaxing under my lawn chair.
Nick is still in Arizona. He's due back early Monday morning. I'm ready to have him back. My battery supply is running low. Nudge! Nudge! Know what I mean!
In celebration of the weekend, I'm going to whip out a bottle of scotch and have a few drinks after my children go to sleep. Come on 8 o'clock. I could use a stiff drink!
Tootle Lou!!

Randomness...

Some things I'm sick of:

1. Remakes of the classics...movies, television shows, books, music, toys
Leave 'em be, people!!
2. What-A-Burger charging for their nugget sauces
3. Paris Hilton and posse
4. yield signs
5. fake bohemians
6. People who clip their poodles to look like shrubbery
7. 10 year olds that dress like their 20
8. people who abuse their power of authority
9. movies based on Danielle Steele's novels
Enough already!!!
10. Swiffer products
11. scenster kids
12. Starbucks
13. sitcoms that just aren't funny
14. someone that thinks having an assistant means the never have to do anything
15. parents who don't whoop the kids that really need a good ass beating
16. liars
17. Brangalina
18. tightly wound people
19. racists
20. McDonald's commercials
21. ethnic restaurants with American food
If you're going to go to an Asian restaurant and eat American, why go???
22. people who go to a library for the sole purpose of checking their mypace account
23. hangovers
24. laundry
25. irritating little dogs

Ok. That's enough for now. My bitching list could take up a lot of space. Til next time...

And God Created Idiots...

I'm sure most of you have seen or heard about these protesters showing up at soldier's funerals across the country. To be more precise, it has been Reverend Fred Phelps' and members of his Westboro Baptist Church congregation. Some of which are children. They are holding up signs that say "God Hates You" and "Thank God For IEDs".
Let me just say, "What the fuck is wrong with these people!?!?" It is one thing to protest the war but it is a whole other ball park to protest at a funeral. I mean, the soldier isn't even there to defend himself. He's dead! What makes these scumbags think that the family hasn't suffered enough? All I can say is WWJD, mother fuckers! WWJD!
What ever happened to that slogan anyway (What Would Jesus Do)? How about the one that says "Let he without sin throw the first stone."? OOO! OOO! What about the golden rule? "Do unto your neighbor as you would have them do unto you"...a.k.a. love thy neighbor as thy self. I'm not even a christian and I know this shit and think it's a pretty good part of the bible to follow.
What about letting God be the judge? These families are already in mourning. Ironically, these fanatical misinterpreters of the bible are protesting the very things that soldiers throughout our history have died to protect. If it wasn't for our soldiers we wouldn't have the freedom of speech (or the freedom of religion).
What's worse is I read something about them actually referring to themselves as the "United States Taliban". Why would you want to refer to yourself as a band of people who hate you. These will be the people that will began to work with the Taliban in an attempt o bring our country down. Shame on you, Fred Phelps! Shame on you! You're going to hell for your evil ways. Give me a while and I'll find a verse in the bible I can twist and contort to take my side on that.
Speaking of bible verses, one of the protesters said we should read Luke 16 which I did. Yes, I do have a bible in my home. Just because I'm agnostic doesn't mean I don't like to read. If someone can explain to me what the hell that bible verse has to do with picketing outside of a soldier's funeral, please let me know.
These protestors also like to protest homosexuals. They actaully believe God hates America because America supports gays. I really wish these people would convert to Islam and move to the Middle East were they can locate the Taliban and be with people who will kill them for being an American. I mean, that almost sounds like what they want.
As I have said many times before and different blogs and bulletins, I'm not into politics by any means. I don't personally agree with the war. If I were to protest I'm heading to place like the country's capital hill. Washington D.C. is were you go when you want to protest the government not some little town in the midwest. You would never find me at someone's funeral protesting their death even if they killed one of my children. I look at this way: "If they're dead then what's the problem?"
Here's a suggestion. Let's protest the protesters. I'm sure we could all find a bible verse or two to put on a sign. I got a good sign. How about "God Hates Dumb Asses" or "My Church Is Better Than Yours". I can promise you all if I attend a funeral where these knuckleheads are I won't think twice about beating them with my rolled up hymnal as I would a dog that pissed on the floor.
Once again, here is a fine example of people that should have been drowned at birth. These people do not deserve to be part of society. They deserve to be locked away in straight jackets.
'Til next time...

Racism For Dummies II

Ok. I thought that I was finished with this but after another run in with my neighbor I feel compelled to elaborate a bit further on the subject to anyone who will take the time to read my blog. In my last blog, I talked about the infamous saying, "I like black people; I just don't like 'niggers'." For clarity, I'd like to start with a few definitions. All of the following definitions can be found Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary
1. nigger Pronunciation: 'ni-g&rFunction: nounEtymology: alteration of earlier neger, from Middle French negre, from Spanish or Portuguese negro, from negro black, from Latin niger1 usually offensive, see usage paragraph below : a black person2 usually offensive, see usage paragraph below : a member of any dark-skinned race3 : a member of a socially disadvantaged class of persons niggers... all the people who feel left out of the political process -- Ron Dellums>usage Nigger in senses 1 and 2 can be found in the works of such writers of the past as Joseph Conrad, Mark Twain, and Charles Dickens, but it now ranks as perhaps the most offensive and inflammatory racial slur in English. Its use by and among blacks is not always intended or taken as offensive, but, except in sense 3, it is otherwise a word expressive of racial hatred and bigotry.
2. racism Pronunciation: 'rA-"si-z&m also -"shi-Function: noun1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race2 : racial prejudice or discrimination- racist /-sist also -shist/ noun or adjective
3. bigot Pronunciation: 'bi-g&tFunction: nounEtymology: Middle French, hypocrite, bigot: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices- bigoted /-g&-t&d/ adjective- bigotedly adverb
4. 1prejudice Pronunciation: 'pre-j&-d&sFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, from Old French, from Latin praejudicium previous judgment, damage, from prae- judicium judgment 1 : injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one's rights; especially : detriment to one's legal rights or claims2 a (1) : preconceived judgment or opinion (2) : an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge b : an instance of such judgment or opinion c : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics 2prejudiceFunction: transitive verbInflected Form(s): -diced; -dicing1 : to injure or damage by some judgment or action (as in a case of law)2 : to cause to have prejudice
One more...I promise.
5. ignorant Pronunciation: 'ig-n(&-)r&ntFunction: adjective1 a : destitute of knowledge or education ignorant society>; also : lacking knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified ignorant of modern mathematics> b : resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence 2 : UNAWARE, UNINFORMED- ignorantly adverb- ignorantness noun
With all of that out of the way, I feel I can continue. Have you ever heard someone talk about "all those damn 'niggers'" and then almost in the same breath say "my best friend is black"? WHAT!?!?! To those people I must ask this. When is the last time that black best friend of yours came to your house? When is the last time your black best friend ate dinner at your table and played with your kids? And if you're a teenager, when's the last time that person slept over? You got to answer honestly inside of your own head. You can't lie to yourself forever.
Another good question I'd like answered is have you met every black person to know that the ones you call 'niggers' are all people that you "can't stand"?
Here's a silly argument: "I was raised this way." WTF!?!? Are you a robot? I was raised to be a christian and guess what? OMG! I'm agnostic. I was also raised to believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny but there came a time in my life when I grew up and stopped being so damn naive. If your only arguement as to why you don't like a cetain race is "I was raised this way.", then you are a sorry excuse for a person and you need to grow a back bone. And my personal opinion is you are a coward.
I'm going to stop. I have a tendency to get heated about such nonsense. I'll run this topic right into the ground. For anyone out there I have offended by my use of a certain word, please know that my usage was for literary purposes only. I have numerous friends on my friends list that can vouche that the word is not a part of my normal vocabulary. Thanks to all that have read this.

Racism For Dummies

Out of all the different things I hear people say on a regular basis, the number one thing I'm sick and tired of hearing people say is "I'm not prejudice. I just don't like 'niggers'. There are black people and then there are 'niggers'."
First of all, I want to know who in their right mind thought that it made sense to say that? I look at it this way. If you have to make excuses for yourself as to how you're not racist (especially to someone who never asked you), you can bet your pay check you are.
Now, I'll look at it from the 'white' side of the spectrum...I don't really have any other way of looking at it. If you ask me if I understand what these ignorant people mean by that, I'd have to say yes. Do I think it really has anything to do with a color in my eyes? No I do not.
My view is this: There are people with manners and there are people with out. There are people out there that take from the goverment and there are people who bust there asses daily to keep from having to do so. There are criminals and there are law abiding citzens. There are so many other comparisions I can make but it all boils down to none of which I listed above is limited to any race.
I'm going to stop now. The more I write the more I want to invite my neighbor over so I can make him feel stupid all over again (which wasn't very hard with him being ingnorant and all). Let me close by saying this. Take note that if I don't like you, it's because I think you're a freaking asshole. It has nothing to do with the color of your skin.

My Side Of The Spectrum

There are times in life that we have to stand up and make a choice to help someone. Occasionally, those times make us the bad guy. Sometimes even though we know our descions are the right ones, we still hesitate. We make that pause because we don't want to hurt anyone even if it is only for a moment in time.
Recently, I made a choice to speak up. I choose to break a confidence in order to prevent something bad from happening. I rationalized it by telling myself that the drama caused by this would only be temporary and in the long run things would be better for the persons involved.
Needless to say, someone very dear to me is angry with me. I am writing this to let that person know the following things:
1. I love you.
2. I want to see you succeed in life.
3. I don't want you to share my "shoes".
4. I want you to have all those things you've dreamed about.
5. I don't want you to regret things later.
6. I don't want to hurt you or make you cry.
7. This was not done to try to pusnish you.
8. And, I love you and care about you most of all.
If the above aren't enough now to make you understand that I did what I did out of love, then I can only hope that one day you'll be able to appreciate it. I'm not looking for you to "thank me" one day. All I want is for you to be safe and ANYTHING I can do to keep you that way I am going to do.
Some things were said that bothered me. First, you cried and begged for me not to tell. That was followed by threats. You threatened to kill yourself. You threatened to run away from home and never come back and never tell me were you are. You also threatened to never talk to me again. Lastly, you tried to black mail me. It was extremely hard not allow those things to affect me. I want you to know that I understand why you were saying all of that.
I know you don't trust me now and I can respect that. But I want you to know that if ever I think you are going to hurt yourself in some sort of way, you can't expect me to sit back and watch. I did what I felt needed to be done and I wanted you to hear my piece. I love you and I hope one day you and I together can get past this and move forward in our relatuonship.
You know who you are!

They Aren't Baby Dolls, You Know?!?!

I won't be naming names but I think that someone here is slipping off their rocker! I can't understand how these young girls can think that having a baby is a smart thing to do.
Don't get me wrong. Kids are great. I've got two. I was 19 when I had my son and I'll be the first to tell you that I was not ready for a child. Now at 25, I think I might just be about ready. No matter what the circumstances though, I think having a baby when you are in high school is an awful idea.
Furthermore, a particular person I talk to is freaking me out with all the baby talk. I am almost tempted to tell this person's mother. Of course, I don't think it would do any good. Some kind of way, this is all my fault. Don't ask me how. I am oblivious.
Quite a few teenage girls I have encountered on here, are so naive. They talk about having babies as if they are walking into Toy'R'Us to buy a Cabbage Patch Kid. I've explained on more than one occasion that being a mom is a full time job. Raising a kid to be a civilized, well behaved little person is not easy. For the most part, it can be down right hard.
There are days when I wish I didn't have kids. There are days I get so fustrated I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. And trust me, I've tried that. Give it a few minutes and little hands will be rapping at the door calling out your name because they need something else.
I have tried to explain to these young ladies that when you become a mom, you have to put another life ahead of your own. I do not believe that ANY teenager (boy or girl) is ready to stop being selfish. I was a teenager not all that long ago. This world revolved around me or at least that's how it seemed in my diluted sense of thinking. The particular person I am speaking of has got to be 10x's worse on the selfish factor. Beside this person has their whole life ahead of them. If the cards are played right, they can get an athletic scholarship.
I hope that the person I am speaking of reads this and takes what I've said into consideration before screwing up their future.
And by the way, the health unit on Ames is now open. You can get your ass birth control without any adult permission. VERY WISE!!!!!!

Celebrity Swag Makes Me Want To Blow Chunks

I watched Vh1 yesterday night. I truly wanted to vomit. I should know better by now. I watched an episode of "The Fabulous Life of..." This particular episode was about Celebrity Swag. For those of you who don't know, let me fill you in on what the hell "swag" is. Swag is a term used to describe all of the freebies that celebrities manage to get their grubby fingers on for, well, just being themselves. A major portion of the show was about giftbags like the "loser bags" given out to the nominess of award shows who fail to take home a trophy. Some of these giftbags can be a whopping $38,000 worth. OMFG!!!Sharon Stone made $14 million for the movie Basic Instinct 2. Yet she still insisted on the perks such as nannie service with three nannies for one child. How bad is her kid that she needs three nannies? Will Smith has a movie set trailer that is bigger than my freaking house. It actually has a second story! He recently put a recording studio inside.Ok. Here's where the puking comes in. The show referred to the Live Aide concert awhile back. It was a charity concert to bring awarness for starvation in Africa (or something to that extent). Well, these celebrities that performed there recieved gift bags worth tens of thousands of dollars. Such recievers of these bags o' bullshit were Mariah Carey (sorry, she's the only one I distinctly remember).Let's step back a minute and think. There were at least ten performers there. AT LEAST!!! All of which recieved let's say a $10,000 bullshit bag. That's $100,000!!! Do you know how many starving Africans could have been fed? But, no! A brand new Motorolla Razor phone is so much more important.Call me crazy and put me in a straightjacket but I can't seem to understand were the logic is in giving people who could afford to buy there own useless goodies these things. Why are they subject to recieving all of these perks for being rich and popular? I say give me free shit! I actually could use some new clothes. Hell, head on down to the Gulf Coast those people could use some new things. Travel in your expensive private jets to some third world country and issue out some fucking food and water instead of being so damn selfish.Damn, I hate Hollywood and all of the dogs who jump through the hoops for it. Assholes!

My First Hand Account

I'm really not sure where to begin. For Christmas, my family and I went home to New Orleans to visit with our family as we do every year. This year was different, of course. As we drove from our home in Fort Hood, Texas the devastation and destruction was evident before we even crossed the Texas border.We drove through Beaumont and Port Arthur. The first thing you notice is the trees are so sparcely spread along the interstate. The next thing I noticed was the blue FEMA roofs. Even though I knew the closer we got to our destination the more of it all we would see, I was not yet affected.Shortly after we crossed the stateline and entered Louisiana, I laid my eyes upon Harrah's Casino. The first thing that came to my attention was there was no traffic of patrons willing to feed their hard earned money into a slot machine while getting the one arm work out. I also noticed that parts of the outside wall was missing from the structure itself. Then I noticed the gates. The casino was totally gated off. Never since the casino has opened have I EVER seen it closed down.Mind you, all of the things I have previously spoken of are results of Hurricane Rita. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw with my own two eyes once I got closer and closer to New Orleans. Rita's big, bad sister Katrina really messed things up.As we approached the city, everything seemed as it had when we had gone through the area where Rita had passed. As we rounded I-10 into Metarie and reached the West End exit, an odor invaded my nose. The only way I can describe it was to say it smelled of rotten eggs or maybe even sulphuric gas. I, then, noticed the water line. A Mack truck would have been submerged under this particular over pass. In that general vicinity is two above ground cemeteries which as most know the city is well know for keeping their dead above ground. Also, right there is the irony of a brand new pumping station built for just that: pumping water when it floods. Sadly, millions of tax dollars were wasted because it failed to do it's job. Whether it was the employees running it or the machine itself, it did not help in keeping that part of the city dry.Further still we drove. Under normal circumstances, the Superdome is our guiding light. Once we see it, we know we are home. However, this time we drove in silence as images from months earlier flooded our mind's eye. Images of flooded streets, crying babies, dying citizens, and loads of garbage that not even Mardi Gras has ever come close to producing put a knot in my stomach.We crossed over onto the Westbank were our family lives. Luckily for them, the flooding was not so wide spread. As we neared the Oakwood Mall, it didn't feel like Christmas time at all. I guess an empty parking lot at 4 o'clock in the afternoon on a Saturday exactly one week before Christmas can have that affect on you. The mall was looted in the aftermath of the storm. It is said that the fires that burned on the inside were set by looters attempting to shed light on their crimes.We finally made it to my husband's grandparents house in Harvey where we typically stay. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw that house standing there virtually untouched. Even with the blue roofs on surrounding houses, it was nice to be back.The next day we headed out to my parents' house in Gretna. That's when it really hit home for me. I should probably mention that my mother is a very meticulous housekeeper. She really does clean everything. It is a great possiblity that she has OCD. Anyway, my parents' home was flooded. Compared to the city of New Orleans they had a laughable maximum of 6 inches in their house according to the waterline that was left behind.When I approached the house, I saw sinks, chairs, boxes and other what nots placed just so along the walls of the carport. As I entered the house my heart sank to my stomach. My parents had no cabinets in their kitchen. No fridge. No stove. They did have an ice chest, a microwave, a coffee pot, and a toaster oven all placed neatly on a card table that had been in the attic. The carpet had been ripped up and thrown out revealing the cement floor foundation which my sister informed me my mother mops nearly everyday.Because of the minor flooding, the bottom portions of the sheetrock had to be replaced along with doors. The middle bedroom which at one time or another was my bedroom had before the storm been a computer room. Now after Katrina it has been conformed into a storage closet for the things that currently have no place since so much furniture had to be thrown out. My parents' living room had a loveseat, a rocking chair, and an end table with the TV on top of it. Everything to me appeared to be so naked.It was difficlut to see my childhood home so bare. Of course, my family came out lucky. They are all alive and everything that was damaged can be replaced. The only memories that were destroyed in the storm were the home videos that were left behind.A few days into our stay, my husband's grandfather suggested he take us site seeing. We agreed. I was sickly eager to see what I had seen from someone else's point of view on the news.As we drove through the inner city, even though things were different they were still the same. New Orleans has never been a clean city. It was always full of dilapitated houses, garbage, and a rank odor. The things that did get me a little choked up were the X's. Any of you that watched the news knows what I'm talking about. When search and rescue came through they marked the houses with a X and listed any fatalities they found. I saw some numbers as high as 14. They had also marked if any pets were found so the SPCA could pick them up.We then drove into Chalmette, another area with extensive damage. As we drove past the docks, I saw barges had been thrown up onto the embankment. From the bridge we were on they looked like toys tossed aside by a child.The last place we observed has been scorched into my memory. I will never forget what I saw as long as I live. We toured the Lakeview area. Lakeview is pretty upscale. They have a yacht club and other unneseccary entertainment for the well off citizens that reside there. The trees stood like ghosts. Their bark completely stripped away. The workers there attempting to repair damage to some of the homes refer to it as the "Dead Zone" for as one gentleman told me, "Nothing alive lives there." Nothing alive would want to live there.For a few moments, I forgot where I was. I thought I had teleported to the streets of Iraq. The homes had gaping holes in the rooftops. There were windows shattered. Hundred year old cypress and oak trees where totally uprooted either toppling upon houses or crumbling them as their roots were yanked from underneath the foundations. Cars were flipped over. The thing that separates this "war" zone from the next is the waterlines. There were two story houses that had waterlines so high it appeared that the second floor had 3 feet of water. Nearly every house had garbage piled alongside the curb waiting for a garbage truck to pass. By this time, I had had enough. Tears were welling up in my eyes. My stomach was full of knots. So many mixed emotions ran through my insides. We headed home leaving the ghosts behind us in attempt to have a normal holiday season.I brought along my camera for the ride but it just felt wrong for me to take pictures. Even though I always did and will consider the city of New Orleans and its surrounding areas to be my home, I looked at all of the damage and realized this was all someone else's life. All of the garbage I saw strewn about the streets was at one time someone's possessions. If you feel you'd like to see pictures of the city a good spot to check out would be http://www.wwltv.com/weather/pix/ This site has pictures that residents submitted of their areas. I check in periodically to see areas that I could not venture due to roadblocks such as Port Sulphur, Buras, and Slidell. We were supposed to spend Christmas Eve in Long Beach, Mississippi but that never happened.As do most of the residents, I hope that one day the New Orleans area and the entire Gulf Coast will arise from the dead and become the booming, blustering society it once was. Until then, all we can do is keep those areas and the people that live there in our thoughts.

Oh, My "god"?

Since the very beginning of human existence, man has found a need to believe in something. This belief that we all come from something "better" than us still remains in effect today. These beliefs have caused wars and murders and hate and resentment yet some among us still have the need to "believe".I have washed my hands of these known beliefs. I choose to believe in me. I choose to believe that the answer will not be found in a church, synagogue, temple, or other place of worship. No priest, pastor, rabbi, or other holy man (or woman) of any "god" will (at this time anyway) be able to shed light on the questions that need to be answered most....the questions that have plagued all of mankind through the ages.The Bible can tell us where we have been in a fabricated sort of way as can the Illiad and the Epic of Giglamesh. They are all story books that tell of time past, a fairy tale if you will.I, as others, have a need to believe that we come from something greater. Who really wants to believe that we came some primordial soup? Or evolved from a monkey? I lean more to the belief that something from sky did become a main character in many religious documents, however, I think it was blow out of proportion immensely. I mean, if I were among the ancient people and I saw something fiery in the sky that my scholars couldn't explain I'd say, "oh! Look! God!"Like most, I want to believe that I am special....I want to believe that someone knows me and loves me inside out. However, I cannot strive to know a god based on sheer belief. Seeing is believing. Show me proof. Call me Doubting Thomas. Let me stick my hand in your wounds. Then, and only then, will I belief in something so contridicting and full of holes the Titanic could fit into with room to spare.I have come to the conclusion in my own mind that "god" in a sense is the enviroment...."god" is us and we are "god".I could never say that I am atheist. Calling myself that would mean that I believe in nothing at all. I truly believe in something. I am something and I believe in myself. I am my "god". As confused and out of place as I feel at times, I am my "god". Worship me....lol. I must advise against that for I probably wouldn't be able to save myself much less a vast array of minions.In conclusion, I would like to state for the record that I do not profess to be a highly educated person. If you can disprove anything that I said, please feel free to do so. As I said before, I have a need to believe in something. One "god" is never enough.

Where Are My Tormentors?

These past few months I've been reading up on bullying, mostly the type that goes on amongst pre adolescent girls....the silent type, the emotional type. It was so weird to read about young girls who were victims and other who where the victimizers. I cannot deny that I in my lifetime have played both roles. Of course, the times that stand out the most are the times that involve me being "persecuted" (in the over-dramatic sense that young girls speak of).Being a mother, I DREAD the day my children come to me with tears in their eyes about their friend who suddenly and without reason turned on them. If they come to me at all! I am at a loss as to what I should do in that situation. I'm sure I'd want to have a whole confrontation with the other child(ren) and parent(s). I'd want to defend my children as would the other parents involved...."Not my son/daughter!"And what if my child is the bully?Here I am, 25 years old, and I can still to this day remember the first AND last names of the girls who picked on me through my seventh and eighth grade years of my life. I was that girl that developed early. The one who was in a B cup while other girls where getting fitted for a training bra. I was the one shaving my bikini line while the others where getting their first pube. That was me! The one that at the age of 12 had grown men trying to look down my shirt. And, yes, if you are wondering I used the attention to my advantage....or so at the time I thought. Of course, all that attention just led to the girls around me in the close knit perocial school to fucking HATE me. I remember them putting gum in my hair.....tape in my hair....pouring their drinks in my chair before I sat down.....starting rumors. The rumors where the worst! People I didn't even know where like, "Hey! You're that girl who......blah, blah, blah....yada, yada, yada!"Those two years were torture. After my eighth grade year my parents couldn't afford to send me to private high school. How relieved I was to give up my Catholic school girl uniform! The next year I went to a public school where there were groups, not the cliques that I had come to dispise. I made new friends.....good friends that I still have to this day. Those two years of my young life made me turn inward for awhile there. Then, something in me snapped. No, not like Columbine or anything. But I just got sick and tired of being walked on. So, I started standing up for myself and not backing down. Yeah, I got my ass kicked a few times but so what? My point is I have no point. I don't have to have one. This is my blog and my blog needs no point just my words and here they are in black in white right in front of you for everyone to read.

Sex! No Strings Attached!

Some stuff that bugs me...Why is it that guys seem to have a problem with a girl strolling up and being straight up saying, "Hey! My name is so and so. I want to have sex, NO STRINGS ATTACHED!!” I don't like to beat around the bush and I like people to be straight up with me. I'd much rather a guy say, "Look, I just want to do you and I won't be calling tomorrow or ever for that matter." Wouldn't that be SOOOOO much easier then all the games? How can someone NOT agree with that? Why am I bothered by this? You're probably thinking.....omg....this girl is married. Whatever! A friend of mine, a New Orleans evacuee (refugee, whatever they're calling them this week), stayed with me since the storm. Living on a military base, there is no shortage of dicks.....trust me they're everywhere!! Well, we drove through the gate and got chosen for a vehicle inspection (which we so passed and then some...lol). The guys doing the inspection weren't hot but do-able. My friend is going through a divorce so when you need some bad you'll settle sometimes. This one dude was all up in her shit asking her all kinds of questions SOOOOO she gave him my phone number so he could call her. When he called later on she asked him if he wanted to "hang out". Guys, sorry if I offend anyone but when I say "hang out" that's EXACTLY what I want....some THING to hang out!! Long story short....he came over. She told him straight up (after a few beers, of course), "Look! I want to fuck you." After that the dude was all embarrassed and uncomfortable and weird....like a little virgin.....and maybe he was. Needless to say, she didn't get any and I had to hook her up with my dildo (yes, I LOVE my friend). Why did he get scared? Is there something wrong with a girl be honest? Can men not handle a strong honest woman? And if you're thinking what a hoe, you know what? Fuck you!!!!! So, inquiring minds want to know. Why can't guys handle that shit? Should us women NEVER make the first move? Men talk all this smack about girls throwing mixed signals but you guys do it to. Some one needs to write a book and make it a course in school and I'm not talking Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus bullshit. What's worse, this is not an isolated experience many, many women I know have the same problem. So, guys if you read this to this point I applaud you for listening to me. Thank you. Open your ears for one more thing.....sometimes girls just want to have sex and be done with it same as a guy. Oh and by the way I love all you freaks out there that read this just because sex was in the subject line. You whores! LOL Alright, I'm done!